One of the most common dilemmas that parents face is how to control their children when they’re behaving badly, and these moments are crucial to their learning and development. While everyone has their own parenting style, some techniques are more effective than others. In this article, we will discuss how to encourage good behaviour without punishment.

​Read: 9 Different Ways In Which A Mother Can Influence Child Development

Positive Reinforcement

Positive reinforcement is known as rewarding attitudes and actions that are good with something that’s pleasant or desirable. It’s not just in parents that positive reinforcement is highly effective. In fact, the concept was originally tested on animals to observe their behaviours in response to food rewards. The theory teaches us that certain behaviours and actions can be encouraged by offering a reward for the action being completed. In parenting, for example, this could be offering a child time to watch their favourite TV show once they complete their school homework, or similarly taking them to the waterpark if they tidy their room first.

Positive reinforcement works best when the reward you offer is desirable – and something your child actually cares about. It’s also important to make the link between their good behaviour and the reward obvious, either by offering it straight away or vocally reiterating it to them. This method is an example of a positive parenting technique, which not every technique is classified as. In contrast to positive reinforcement is punishment – a theory whose effectiveness is considered controversial. If you do decide to use punishment in your parenting strategies, it’s necessary to always be calm and consistent in your actions.

Be Their Role Model

It’s widely understood that our traits and attitudes, even from a young age, are determined by our genetics and learned behaviours. Although certain traits are inherited through family genetics, the behaviours and experiences learned from parents and family members can influence and modify how these traits are expressed. It might not be obvious, but everything you do and say as a parent will be absorbed and processed by your children, which is why you must watch your own behaviour before trying to improve theirs. From a young age, every child must have a positive role model to follow. Not only will this encourage them to replicate these healthy attitudes and behaviours, but it will also lower the chances of them becoming influenced by poor role models that involve themselves with dangerous activities.

Delegate Responsibility

As your child gets older, they will benefit from taking on more responsibilities, whether that’s around the house, with meals or even with their siblings. When they feel responsible, they’re more likely to behave well – mainly because they have a clear reason to do so. With responsibility also comes consequence, and your children can quickly get to grips with what will happen if they don’t follow through with their responsibilities. An easy way to introduce responsibility into your daily routine is to make them in charge of tasks they’re familiar with doing every day.

For example, packing lunchboxes or loading the car with everyone’s school bags. Giving your children specific tasks to take care of directs their attention to that specific responsibility, meaning they’ll have less time on their hands to cause mischief. On top of that, giving your children a personal assignment opens the doors to several learning opportunities along the way. What we mean by this is, when they first take on their dedicated task, they’re probably going to struggle.  As they continue to do it, they will learn to improve from their own mistakes.

When trying to encourage good behaviour in young children, it’s helpful to understand that the process will take time. Just when you feel like you’re making progress, you might have a moment that feels like you’re back where you started. After all, they’re kids…which means you can’t ever fully control what they’re going to say or do. The most important thing to remember is that consistency is more important than accuracy.

It’s not going to feel perfect when you first try it, so don’t be concerned if you crumble and make a mistake. But above everything, patience is key. The next time you walk into their bedroom and see your expensive cream blush used as a crayon, take a breath – a big one – and remind yourself that every messy moment is part of their creativity and development.

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The list of the periods of development reflects unique aspects of the various stages of childhood and adulthood that will be explored in this book, including physical, cognitive, and psychosocial changes. So while both an 8-month-old and an 8-year-old are considered children, they have very different motor abilities, cognitive skills, and social relationships. Their nutritional needs are different, and their primary psychological concerns are also distinctive. The same is true of an 18-year-old and an 80-year-old, both considered adults. We will also learn about the differences between being 28 and 48.

But first, a brief synopsis of the stages is provided here. Delivery, as well as risks and complications with newborns, but also advances in tests, technology, and medicine. There are obvious influences from nature (such as genetics) and nurture (such as nutrition and teratogens, which are environmental factors that can cause birth defects during pregnancy). The study of twins and adoptions, evolutionary psychology, and other related fields help us comprehend how factors interact with one another and how nature and nurture affect human development in different ways.

Infancy And Toddlerhood

The first year and a half to two years of life are ones of dramatic growth and change. In a relatively short amount of time, a newborn with many involuntary reflexes, a keen sense of hearing, and poor vision transforms into a walking, talking toddler (Figure 2).

Caregivers similarly transform their roles from those who manage feeding and sleep schedules to constantly moving guides and safety inspectors for mobile, energetic children. Brain development happens at a remarkable rate, as does physical growth and language development. Infants have their own temperaments and approaches to play. Possible separation anxiety and the development of attachment styles influence changes in interactions with primary caregivers and others.

Breastfeeding or formula feeding, sleeping in a crib or with parents, toilet training, and whether or not to get vaccinated are all social and cultural issues.

Early Childhood

The years that follow toddlerhood and precede formal education are referred to as early childhood (also referred to as the preschool years) (Figure 3).

As a preschooler, the child is busy learning language (with amazing growth in vocabulary), is gaining a sense of self and greater independence, and is beginning to learn the workings of the physical world. Preschoolers may initially have intriguing conceptions of size, time, space, and distance, such as demonstrating how long something will take by holding out their two index fingers several inches apart.

However, this knowledge does not come quickly. A toddler’s fierce determination to do something may give way to a four-year-old’s sense of guilt for doing something that brings the disapproval of others.

Adolescence

Adolescence is a period of dramatic physical change marked by an overall physical growth spurt and sexual maturation, known as puberty; timing may vary by gender, cohort, and culture.

It is also a time of cognitive change as the adolescent begins to think of new possibilities and to consider abstract concepts such as love, fear, and freedom (Figure 5). Ironically, adolescents’ sense of invincibility increases their vulnerability to accidents and sexually transmitted infections, both of which can have long-term effects.

Research on brain development helps us understand teen risk-taking and impulsive behavior. A major developmental task during adolescence involves establishing one’s own identity. Teens typically struggle to become more independent from their parents. Peers become more important, as teens strive for a sense of belonging and acceptance; mixed-sex peer groups become more common.

New roles and responsibilities are explored, which may involve dating, driving, taking on a part-time job, and planning for future academics.

Young Adulthood

Late teens, twenties, and thirties are often thought of as early adulthood (students who are in their mid to late 30s may love to hear that they are young adults!).

We are at our most physiologically active during this time, but we are also most vulnerable to involvement in drug and violent crime. It is a time of focusing on the future and putting a lot of energy into making choices that will help one earn the status of a full adult in the eyes of others (Figure 6). Love and work are the primary concerns at this stage of life.

In recent decades, it has been noted (in the U.S. and other developed countries) that young adults are taking longer to “grow up.” They are waiting longer to move out of their parents’ homes, finish their formal education, take on work/careers, get married, and have children.

One psychologist, Jeffrey Arnett, has proposed that there is a new stage of development after adolescence and before early adulthood, called “emerging adulthood,” from 18 to 25 (or even 29) when individuals are still exploring their identities and don’t quite feel like adults yet. Cohort, culture, time in history, the economy, and socioeconomic status may be key factors in when youth take on adult roles.

Middle Adulthood

The period from the late thirties (or age 40) to the middle of one’s sixties is known as middle adulthood.

This is a period in which physiological aging that began earlier becomes more noticeable and a period at which many people are at their peak of productivity in love and work. It may be a period of gaining expertise in certain fields and being able to understand problems and find solutions with greater efficiency than before.

It can also be a time of becoming more realistic about possibilities in life; of recognizing the difference between what is possible and what is likely (Figure 7). Referred to as the sandwich generation, middle-aged adults may be in the middle of taking care of their children and also taking care of their aging parents.

While caring about others and the future, middle-aged adults may also be questioning their own mortality, goals, and commitments, though not necessarily experiencing a “mid-life crisis.”

Late Adulthood

This period of the lifespan, late adulthood, has increased in the last 100 years, particularly in industrialized countries, as average life expectancy has increased.

Late adulthood covers a wide age range with a lot of variation, so it is helpful to divide it into categories such as the “young-old” (65-74 years old), “old-old” (75-84 years old), and “oldest-old” (85+ years old; Figure 8).

The young-old are similar to middle-aged adults; possibly still working, married, relatively healthy, and active. The old-old have some health problems and challenges with daily living activities; the oldest-old are often frail and in need of long term care.

However, there are a lot of factors at play, and a better way to appreciate the variety of older adults is to look beyond a person’s chronological age to see if they are experiencing optimal aging (like the man in Figure 8, who is in excellent health for his age and continues to lead an active, stimulating life).

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Adolescence is the time in a young person’s life when they transition from childhood into young adulthood and experience physical, behavioral, cognitive, emotional, and social developmental changes.

These changes can start as early as age 8 for females and age nine for males. Girls may start their period around age 12. Body changes can cause both curiosity and anxiety. Children may question their gender identity during this stage, and it can be a challenging time for transgender children.

Cognitive Development At This Stage

Adolescents at this age typically have limited capacity for abstract thought and engage in concrete, black-and-white, all-or-nothing thinking. Thinking may be egocentric, and children this age may be self-conscious about their appearance and apprehensive about being judged by their peers.

Intellectual interests expand, and early adolescents develop deeper moral thinking. Pre-teens also feel an increased need for privacy. They explore how to be independent from their family and may push boundaries and react strongly when limits are enforced.

Middle Adolescence (Ages 14 To 17)

Puberty changes for both males and females continue. Males may have a growth spurt and some voice cracking as their voices lower. Physical growth for females slows and most have regular menstrual periods by this time. Interest in romantic and sexual relationships may start and teens may question and explore their sexual identity; masturbation may be a part of this sexual exploration and getting to know their body.

As teens strive for greater independence, arguments with parents may become more frequent. Less time is spent with family and more time is spent with friends. Teens become more self-involved, appearances are important, and peer pressure can peak at this stage.

During this stage, children may begin to set long-term goals and become interested in the meaning of life and moral reasoning. Despite the fact that emotions frequently drive decision-making and they may act on impulse without thinking things through, the brain continues to mature and becomes increasingly capable of abstract thought.

Late Adolescence And Early Adulthood (Ages 18 To 21 And Beyond)

This phase usually encompasses less physical development and more cognitive developments. Most have grown to their full adult height.

In this stage, young people become able to think about ideas rationally, have impulse control and can delay gratification, and plan for the future. They have a stronger sense of identity and individuality and can identify their own values.

They also experience increased independence, emotional stability, stability in friendships and romantic relationships, and may also establish an “adult relationship” with parents, looking to them less as authority figures and more as peers.

Common Adolescent Challenges

Do You Know This Young Lady?

She dresses perfectly, is popular with both boys and girls and everyone wants to be her friend. She also lies to make herself look better than others, spreads rumors just to look cool, and can be mean to those she doesn’t like.

What to do: Realize her behavior is designed to make herself feel more important by using others. Avoid her and be true to yourself. Hang out with those who appreciate you for who you are.

Busting Out

Puberty starts at different times for different girls. Every girl develops breasts — some will develop faster than you will and may be a different size than you will be. Girls who mature earlier or later than their peers may experience frustration. Sometimes you may feel anxious about your body.

What to do: Realize we are all different and be proud of yourself. Get help to make sure you get the right bra for your body. If you have questions about your body, talk with a parent, counselor, or teacher. Your friends are not always aware of the variety of ways your bodies may change.

Embarrassed Online

You open up your Facebook page and discover someone has posted a lie about you and your boyfriend. You and he are aware that it is false; however, what about everyone else?

What to do: Set up your Facebook account so only your real friends (not everyone you have “friended”) can see your page. If you are bothered by either kids or adults while online tell your parents and principal right away. Then set up a block so they don’t have access to your Facebook page.

You are anxious about volunteering the answer in class. What if you are wrong? It would be terrible and very embarrassing.

What to do: Realize everyone is nervous about making a mistake in front of others. But also realize each time you raise your hand and give an answer you are showing your strength. If you get the right answer, it’s an extra bonus. The more you try, the easier it becomes.

I Despise My Nose!

My nose looks like a bird’s beak! It’s always in people’s eyes, and I’m sure they’re laughing or talking about it behind my back. I need plastic surgery to fix it.

What to do: Surgery can change the look of your nose and face but you may find another reason to dislike your body — too small breasts, too many pimples, too short or too tall. Realize your friends like and admire you for who you are — not for how you look. After all, you like them for their loyalty and supporting you in tough times, and not because they wear a size 4 pair of jeans.

Left Out

My nose looks like a bird’s beak! Everyone is always looking at it and I am sure they are talking or laughing about it behind my back. Maybe you think, “I hate my nose when I smile.” I need plastic surgery to fix it.

What to do: Surgery can change the look of your nose and face but you may find another reason to dislike your body — too small breasts, too many pimples, too short or too tall. Realize your friends like and admire you for who you are — not for how you look. After all, you shouldn’t like them just because they wear size 4 jeans; you should like them for being loyal to you and helping you through difficult times.

Cyber Romance Realities

You have found someone online that really seems to understand you and wants to be your friend — and they want to meet you in person. That seems reasonable but you have a bad feeling about getting together.

Should you ignore your instinct?

What to do: Do NOT go! There are many people who enjoy harming innocent victims — both physically and emotionally. These people are wonderful at telling you what you want to hear and will often lie to gain your trust.

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Globally, it is estimated that one in seven (14%) of 10–19-year-olds experience mental health conditions (1), yet these remain largely unrecognized and untreated.

Adolescents with mental health conditions are particularly vulnerable to social exclusion, discrimination, stigma (affecting readiness to seek help), educational difficulties, risk-taking behaviours, physical ill-health and human rights violations.

Adolescence is a crucial period for developing social and emotional habits important for mental well-being. These include adopting healthy sleep patterns; exercising regularly; developing coping, problem-solving, and interpersonal skills; and learning to manage emotions. Protective and supportive environments in the family, at school and in the wider community are important.

Factors Affecting Mental Health

Multiple factors affect mental health. The more risk factors adolescents are exposed to, the greater the potential impact on their mental health.

Factors that can contribute to stress during adolescence include exposure to adversity, pressure to conform with peers and exploration of identity. Media influence and gender norms can exacerbate the disparity between an adolescent’s lived reality and their perceptions or aspirations for the future. Other important determinants include the quality of their home life and relationships with peers. Violence (especially sexual violence and bullying), harsh parenting and severe and socioeconomic problems are recognized risks to mental health.

Some adolescents are at greater risk of mental health conditions due to their living conditions, stigma, discrimination or exclusion, or lack of access to quality support and services. These include adolescents living in humanitarian and fragile settings; adolescents with chronic illness, autism spectrum disorder, an intellectual disability or other neurological condition; pregnant adolescents, adolescent parents, or those in early or forced marriages; orphans; and adolescents from minority ethnic or sexual backgrounds or other discriminated groups.

Types Of Mental Health Conditions

Emotional Disorders

Emotional disorders are common among adolescents. Anxiety disorders (which may involve panic or excessive worry) are the most prevalent in this age group and are more common among older than among younger adolescents. It is estimated that 4.4% of 10–14-year-olds and 5.5% of 15–19-year-olds experience an anxiety disorder (1).

Depression is estimated to occur among 1.4% of adolescents aged 10–14 years, and 3.5% of 15–19-year-olds (1). Depression and anxiety share some of the same symptoms, including rapid and unexpected changes in mood.

Anxiety and depressive disorders can profoundly affect school attendance and schoolwork. Social withdrawal can make loneliness and isolation even worse. Depression can lead to suicide.

Behavioural Disorders

Younger adolescents are more likely than older adolescents to suffer from behavioral disorders. Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), characterized by difficulty paying attention and/or excessive activity and acting without regard to consequences, occurs among 2.9% of 10–14-year-olds and 2.2% of 15–19-year-olds (1).

Conduct disorder (involving symptoms of destructive or challenging behaviour) occurs among 3.5% of 10–14-year-olds and 1.9% of 15–19-year-olds (1). Behavioural disorders can affect adolescents’ education and increase the risk of criminal behaviour.

Eating Disorders

Eating disorders, such as anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa, commonly emerge during adolescence and young adulthood. Eating disorders involve abnormal eating behaviour and preoccupation with food, accompanied in most instances by concerns about body weight and shape. Girls are more commonly affected than boys.

Eating disorders can affect physical health and often co-exist with depression, anxiety and substance use disorders. They occur in an estimated 0.1% of 10–14-year-olds and 0.4% of 15–19-year-olds (1). They are associated with suicide.

Anorexia nervosa can lead to premature death, often due to medical complications or suicide, and has higher mortality than any other mental disorder.

Psychosis

Conditions that include symptoms of psychosis most commonly emerge in late adolescence or early adulthood. Symptoms can include hallucinations or delusions. These experiences can impair an adolescent’s ability to participate in daily life and education and often lead to stigma or human rights violations.

0.1% of people aged 15 to 19 suffer from schizophrenia (1).

Suicide And Self-Harm

The third leading cause of death among older adolescents and young adults between the ages of 15 and 29 is suicide (2). Risk factors for suicide are multifaceted, and include harmful use of alcohol, abuse in childhood, stigma against help-seeking, barriers to accessing care and access to means of suicide.

Digital media, like any other media, can play a significant role in either enhancing or weakening suicide prevention efforts.

Risk-Taking Behaviours

Many risk-taking behaviours for health, such as substance use or sexual risk-taking, start during adolescence. Adolescents’ mental and physical health can be seriously harmed by risk-taking behaviors, which can be an unhelpful way to deal with emotional difficulties.

Young people are particularly at risk of developing harmful patterns of substance use that can last a lifetime. In 2019, the prevalence of alcohol use among 15–19-year-olds was high worldwide (22%) with very few gender differences, and showing an increase in consumption in some regions (3).

The use of tobacco and cannabis are additional concerns. Many adult smokers had their first cigarette prior to the age of 18 years. In 2022, the prevalence of cannabis use among adolescents was higher than that of adults globally (5.5 per cent compared with 4.4 per cent, respectively) (4). Perpetration of violence is a risk-taking behaviour that can increase the likelihood of low educational attainment, injury, involvement with crime or death. Interpersonal violence was ranked among the leading causes of death of older adolescents in 2021.

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